Larry Johnson Opens Up About Memory Loss and Suspected CTE

Former Kansas City Chiefs running back Larry Johnson was once one of the NFL’s most feared offensive players, known for his powerful running style and ability to punish opposing defences. During his peak years, he became one of the league’s most productive players, setting records and establishing himself as a central figure in the Chiefs’ offence. More than a decade after leaving professional football, however, Johnson is confronting a very different challenge: understanding the lasting effects the game may have had on his brain.

Now 46, Johnson has spoken openly about memory problems, sensitivity to light and noise, intrusive thoughts and difficulties managing everyday situations. He suspects that repeated head impacts during his football career may have contributed to his neurological and psychological struggles, although he has not received a confirmed diagnosis of chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE).

Johnson says he can remember only parts of his professional career. While reflecting on his time in the NFL, he explained that his memories become difficult to access beyond around 2006 or 2007. For a player whose career was once defined by remarkable performances and physical dominance, the gaps in his recollection have become a deeply personal concern.

His experience has also brought renewed attention to the long-term health risks associated with American Football, particularly the consequences of repeated head impacts. Johnson began playing tackle football at nine years old and spent seven seasons in the NFL, where he built his reputation through a physically demanding style of running.

Larry Johnson Opens Up About Memory Loss and Suspected CTE

Johnson’s concerns about his brain health developed gradually after his retirement from professional football in 2011. During his playing career, chronic traumatic encephalopathy was not widely understood by many players and fans as a potential consequence of repeated head impacts.

CTE is a degenerative brain disease associated with repeated head trauma. It has been identified in former athletes and others exposed to repeated blows to the head. However, the disease currently cannot be definitively diagnosed during a person’s lifetime. A confirmed diagnosis requires examination of brain tissue after death.

Johnson has long suspected that he could be experiencing the effects of CTE. His concerns became more focused after the release of the film Concussion, starring Will Smith as forensic pathologist Dr Bennett Omalu. The movie highlighted Omalu’s work examining the brain of former NFL player Mike Webster, whose health and behaviour deteriorated after his football career.

Webster, a Hall of Fame centre who died in 2002, became an important figure in the discussion surrounding CTE after his brain examination helped bring attention to the potential consequences of repeated head impacts in professional football.

Johnson said the film helped him connect some of his own personality changes and experiences with the possibility of football-related brain damage. However, his suspicion should not be confused with a confirmed medical diagnosis.

A study discussed in the report found evidence of CTE in 74.5% of former NFL players who died between 2008 and 2023. Among nearly 400 players whose brains were donated for postmortem examination, 93.5% showed evidence of the disease. These figures relate to donated brains examined after death and should not be interpreted as the prevalence of CTE among all former NFL players.

How Larry Johnson Became One of the NFL’s Most Feared Running Backs

Before his health concerns became a central part of his story, Johnson was widely recognised for his extraordinary ability as a running back. Ahead of the 2003 NFL Draft, he appeared to have the physical tools required to become a franchise player.

Standing 6ft 1in and weighing approximately 230 pounds, Johnson combined size with impressive speed, recording a 4.45-second 40-yard dash. His college career at Penn State further strengthened his reputation as one of the most productive running backs in the country.

During his four seasons with the Nittany Lions, Johnson established himself as an outstanding offensive player. He rushed for more than 2,000 yards in his final college season and won several major individual honours, including the Doak Walker Award, Maxwell Award and Walter Camp Award.

His achievements attracted considerable attention before the draft, with support from legendary Penn State coach Joe Paterno and guidance from his father, Larry Johnson Sr., a former defensive assistant with the Nittany Lions who later became Ohio State’s associate head coach.

The Kansas City Chiefs selected Johnson with the 27th overall pick in 2003, initially viewing him as insurance for established running back Priest Holmes. However, the decision was not universally supported within the organisation.

Head coach Dick Vermeil had reservations about Johnson’s preparation and maturity. Having seen other Penn State running backs struggle after entering the NFL, Vermeil was uncertain whether Johnson would meet expectations. He even joked that the young player needed to mature and improve his preparation habits.

Johnson eventually gave Vermeil reasons to reconsider those doubts. When Holmes suffered a season-ending neck injury midway through the 2005 season, Johnson received an opportunity to become the Chiefs’ leading running back. He responded with an outstanding stretch, recording 1,750 rushing yards and 20 touchdowns in nine weeks.

The Record-Breaking 2006 Season That Defined His Career

Johnson’s role became even more important after Vermeil retired and Herm Edwards took over as head coach. Edwards made the running back the centrepiece of the Kansas City offence, giving him an enormous workload during the 2006 season.

Johnson finished the campaign with 1,789 rushing yards on 416 carries, setting an NFL single-season record for rushing attempts. His physical approach and ability to keep moving after contact made him one of the most difficult players for opposing defences to stop.

The 416 carries became one of the defining statistics of his career. Johnson says he did not feel injured during that record-setting season and has questioned whether the workload itself explains his current health concerns.

He also pointed out that his early years in the NFL were not always successful. Despite being a first-round draft selection, he spent time fighting simply to earn a place in the active lineup before his opportunity arrived.

Johnson has suggested that he would have welcomed an even larger workload if the coaching staff had asked him to carry the ball 500 times. His comments illustrate how strongly he identified with the physical demands of the position during his playing days.

However, the number of carries alone cannot establish the cause of his current symptoms. Johnson’s broader history of playing tackle football from childhood, combined with years of professional competition, forms part of the background to his concerns about repeated head impacts.

Fame, Jay-Z Connection and Controversies During His NFL Career

Johnson’s success on the field also brought considerable attention away from football. At the height of his popularity, he became an ambassador for Jay-Z’s Roc-A-Fella record label as the company expanded into a wider lifestyle brand.

The Chiefs running back was frequently seen at the rapper and businessman’s 40/40 Club in New York, where he socialised with Jay-Z’s circle and other high-profile personalities, including LeBron James.

Johnson also became known for celebrating touchdowns with a diamond-shaped hand gesture associated with Roc-A-Fella and Jay-Z. His visibility helped connect the NFL with the entertainment world at a time when the rapper was developing a closer relationship with the league.

However, Johnson’s public profile also brought criticism and controversy. He attracted negative attention after demanding a trade and threatening to sit out while seeking a new contract. He also clashed with Chiefs coach Todd Haley, questioning his credentials after Haley succeeded Edwards.

Johnson faced suspensions following public comments directed at fans and members of the media that included homophobic slurs. He was eventually released by Kansas City.

His off-field history also included several arrests involving allegations of violence against women. Between 2003 and 2012, he was arrested five times in cases involving such allegations. The cases resulted in convictions for disturbing the peace, domestic battery and assault, with penalties that did not include prison time.

Johnson has been reluctant to attribute those incidents to football. Nevertheless, his history raises difficult questions about the possible relationship between the culture of physical aggression encouraged in professional football and the challenges some players experience after retirement. It is important, however, not to assume that suspected brain injuries explain or excuse alleged or proven acts of violence.

Life After Football: Confusion, Isolation and Intrusive Thoughts

Leaving professional football proved difficult for Johnson. He has described the sport as an environment that tested his physical strength, character and sense of identity in ways he struggled to find elsewhere.

Johnson said he enjoyed facing defensive players in crowded formations and fighting for extra yards, even when the physical punishment was severe. He also recalled feeling as though he always needed to be preparing for a battle, even when there was no reason to fight.

That mindset made the transition into ordinary working life challenging. Johnson initially hoped to move into nonprofit work, but found the structure of a traditional office environment difficult to manage.

He experienced heightened sensitivity to light, noise and group settings, which affected his ability to remain in a job. Everyday responsibilities also became more complicated as he struggled with memory and confusion.

During a two-year legal dispute with the mother of his daughter, Jaylen, over school pickup arrangements, Johnson eventually realised that he was the person incorrectly remembering the agreed times. His mother acted as an intermediary during the dispute.

He also enrolled in a master’s programme alongside other retired NFL players but said he eventually left after losing his temper during a group project with a professor.

These experiences added to his concerns about his ability to manage relationships, professional responsibilities and everyday situations after football.

Larry Johnson Describes Frightening Intrusive Thoughts

Among the most difficult experiences Johnson has discussed are intrusive thoughts and internal voices that sometimes encourage him to harm himself or others. He describes these experiences as arriving in waves and becoming difficult to ignore.

He has spoken about feeling uncomfortable near balconies and experiencing persistent fears about unexpected events, including the possibility of something falling from the sky. The thoughts have contributed to a constant sense of paranoia and have made certain everyday environments frightening for him.

Johnson said the experiences became so overwhelming that he sometimes isolated himself for extended periods. He also turned to drugs and alcohol in an attempt to cope, but acknowledged that self-medication made his situation considerably worse.

His account highlights the importance of mental health support for former professional athletes. Difficulties after retirement can involve more than physical injuries, particularly when players are also dealing with memory problems, emotional changes and uncertainty about their neurological health.

Anyone experiencing intrusive thoughts involving harm to themselves or others should seek prompt professional support. Johnson’s personal account is not a diagnosis of CTE, and similar symptoms can have multiple possible causes that require proper medical assessment.

2017 Interview Helped Repair His Relationship With His Father

Johnson’s father was initially unaware of the extent of his son’s struggles. The former Chiefs star had become increasingly distant from someone who had played a major role in guiding his football career.

Johnson said he once regularly contacted his father, even for small updates such as letting him know he was travelling home after a game. As his difficulties grew, that communication became less frequent.

A 2017 profile published by The Washington Post helped change the situation. Johnson had spoken publicly about his personal struggles, allowing his father and other people close to him to better understand what he was experiencing.

Johnson described the article as giving his father a new perspective. He said people approached his father and praised his decision to speak openly, which helped create greater understanding between them.

He later explained that their relationship had recovered and felt close to what it had been before his difficulties became so difficult to manage.

The experience demonstrated how speaking openly about mental health can help families understand problems that might otherwise remain hidden. For Johnson, being able to explain his situation was an important step towards rebuilding trust and receiving support.

NFL Lifetime Disability Benefits Provided Financial Security

Another important development came when the NFL granted Johnson lifetime disability benefits. The financial support gave him greater security and allowed him to concentrate on his health without the same pressure to find employment simply to cover his living expenses.

Disability benefits have been a major issue for former NFL players, many of whom have struggled to receive financial support after experiencing serious health problems. The league has faced criticism over its handling of former players’ claims, including disputes surrounding race-norming practices used in disability assessments.

Johnson recognised that he had been fortunate to spend seven seasons in the NFL. The average running back’s career is much shorter, at around two and a half years, leaving many players with limited time to earn money and prepare for life after football.

He has also criticised the modern NFL’s treatment of running backs, arguing that the position is increasingly undervalued. Johnson believes the league’s approach to the position is connected to efforts to reduce financial payments to players.

His comments reflect wider concerns about how professional football organisations support athletes whose careers are often short and physically demanding.

Family Support Helps Johnson Manage Everyday Challenges

Although Johnson continues to experience confusion and sensitivity to light and noise, he says he has developed better ways to manage his daily life.

His daughter Jaylen is now old enough to drive herself and her father, reducing some of the difficulties he previously experienced when travelling. Johnson has described the embarrassment of getting lost on familiar routes or confusing a television remote with a car key fob.

His wife also plays an important role in supporting him. Johnson says talking through his feelings with her helps him manage difficult moments, while she understands when to encourage conversation and when to give him space.

Despite those improvements, the intrusive thoughts have not disappeared completely. Johnson compares them to a film that continues beyond its original ending, developing into multiple sequels and additional scenes.

The comparison reflects how persistent and consuming the experiences can feel for him. Although family support has helped, he remains aware that managing his symptoms is an ongoing process.

Former NFL Player Wants to Build a Mental Health Support App

Johnson’s experiences have influenced a new ambition: creating an app that connects former professional athletes experiencing mental health difficulties with people who understand the unique pressures of their careers.

He wants the platform to help retired players reach former NFL clinicians and other professionals who have experience working with athletes. One person he specifically mentioned was Susan Wilson, his former team therapist with the Kansas City Chiefs.

Johnson also hopes to organise a symposium for retired players, giving them an opportunity to discuss their experiences, share coping strategies and hear from others who have faced similar challenges.

He believes many former players remain reluctant to discuss their health problems because they fear being viewed as weak. In his view, that attitude has prevented important conversations about the long-term effects of football from taking place openly.

His proposed initiative would aim to make those conversations more normal and provide a supportive environment where former athletes can seek help without embarrassment.

Researchers Continue Searching for Better Ways to Understand CTE

Johnson’s concerns come as researchers continue investigating the relationship between repeated head impacts, neurological symptoms and long-term mental health problems among former football players.

Emory University recently announced a research partnership involving the Concussion & CTE Foundation and Boston University. The study is focused on former football players experiencing depressive and cognitive symptoms.

Researchers are examining whether an FDA-approved medication that reduces inflammation could also help improve those symptoms. The recruitment criteria described in the report include men aged 30 to 55 living in the Atlanta area who have played at least 11 years of tackle football.

The research is part of wider efforts to understand whether treatments can reduce some of the difficulties experienced by former players. However, it does not mean that a proven treatment or reliable method of diagnosing CTE in living patients is now available.

Chris Nowinski, co-founder of the Concussion & CTE Foundation and a longtime advocate for CTE research, has emphasised the complexity of the condition. He has argued that progress requires attention to both the physical and psychological aspects of the disease, alongside better diagnosis, treatment and mental health support.

Researchers continue to face major challenges because CTE can currently be confirmed only through postmortem examination. Understanding the symptoms experienced during life and identifying effective ways to support affected individuals remain important areas of investigation.

Larry Johnson Reflects on Football’s Physical Risks

Johnson still follows football, although he tries to avoid allowing his emotions to overwhelm him when watching the sport. He appreciates the safety measures introduced by the NFL but also misses the physical style of play that defined much of his own career.

Seeing former players experience serious health problems has made the issue more personal. Johnson has spoken about his sadness after watching former AFC rival Chris Johnson reveal his battle with ALS. He also mentioned Steve Gleason when discussing the frightening possibility of former athletes developing life-changing medical conditions.

He said seeing players who once possessed extraordinary speed and athletic ability later using wheelchairs was deeply disturbing. Their experiences have reinforced his belief that the long-term consequences of professional football can affect players in ways they may not fully understand during their careers.

Johnson has also begun recording videos of himself and reviewing them for possible changes in his speech and behaviour. He uses the recordings as a way to monitor how he communicates and identify moments when he may appear different from how he intends.

Feedback from viewers has sometimes helped him recognise how his delivery sounds to other people. Some early responses described him as sounding harsh or condescending, prompting him to think more carefully about his communication style. The process has also helped him form online friendships.

Why Larry Johnson Is Unsure About CTE Testing

Although Johnson has previously expressed a desire to know whether he has CTE, his feelings about testing have become more complicated. He worries that receiving a diagnosis or information suggesting serious brain damage could make him obsess over every small movement, emotional change or physical symptom.

Johnson believes that knowing the extent of possible damage could affect how he approaches the rest of his life. He fears that he might become overwhelmed by thoughts about his future and begin analysing every detail of his behaviour.

At the same time, he recognises that his memory problems and other experiences have not simply disappeared. Even without a confirmed diagnosis, he believes something has changed and wants researchers to find better ways to identify and understand the effects of repeated head impacts.

His story illustrates the complicated position faced by former players who suspect they may have suffered lasting neurological damage but cannot receive a definitive CTE diagnosis while alive.

For Johnson, the challenge is no longer about breaking tackles, setting rushing records or proving himself against defenders. It is about understanding what happened after years of playing a sport that rewarded physical punishment, finding ways to manage his symptoms and helping other retired athletes speak openly about their own struggles.

His proposed mental health support app and plans for a gathering of former players reflect a desire to turn personal experiences into practical support for others. As research continues, Johnson hopes the next generation of players will have better information, stronger medical support and fewer reasons to suffer in silence.